“Keep Austin Weirdly Stocked With Penicillin”

+1000 for the perfect Hermione gif.

And you’ve done your job well. Thank you for raising someone who is a valued memeber of society (just to be clear, I mean this sincerely, no sarcasm).

You know. It’s easy to laugh at her, but I’m pretty sure I was equally melodramatic at 25 years old and 4:00 in the morning.

I totally read it as “Candy Groves” and assumed it was her stripper name. Hunh.

This must have been some small ketchup processing facility in Florida or somewhere near a Red Gold production facility.

Yeah I already knew that ketchup wasn’t lethal in high doses cause if it was, I’d be dead right now.

I was a single mother for 11 years, and the first of my friends to have a child (at 21), so my son didn’t hang with anyone but adults until he stormed kindergarten. He and I had an understanding from extremely early on in his toddlerage, “You may participate as long as you behave.” So, by two, he pretty much had it…

Someday, when I am trying to remember my license plate number, or my nephew’s birth date, I will instead find my brain stuffed with facts about ketchup.

I just read the mom’s op-ed piece. This bit made me giggle:

“’As serious as a heart attack,’ she said, with fury in her eyes.

Yeah, but if you get leprosy they send you out of shitty Florida onto beautiful Moloka’i! Totally worth a few fingers and maybe an ear!

Armadildo

A memorable dining experience. Several children were running thru the restaurant playing tag and laughing and screaming. The moms and dads did nothing. The employees did nothing. It settled down for a bit and I had an idea. My daughter and I (21 and 45) got up. She touched my shoulder and yelled "TAG, You're it!" and…

I am the mother of a child with Aspergers. Though he’s quite chill and polite now, he alternated between an angel and a fucking monster from the time he was born until he was four. Lest you think I’m exaggerating, he exasperated pretty much anyone who had to deal with him during one of his meltdowns.

My wife and I consistently have discussions as to whether it’s worth going out to eat with our 2 and 4 year old kids. It’s a crap-shoot at this age. Sometimes they’re happy and distractable and other times they’re fairly inconsolable.

I live in Maine and have actually been to this diner. I think the important thing to know about Marcy’s is that it really is a hole-in-the-wall. There are maybe 5 tables and one counter that might seat a dozen. It is tiny and cramped and hot (because the griddle is 3 feet from the counter), but the food is delicious…

My standard reply is “I don’t want to lie to you.”

I suggest you immediately offer to take on his responsibilities, unless you don’t think you’re capable of taking them on either in full or in part. The COO of my company quit about a year ago, I immediately went to my boss and told him I could do everything the COO was doing starting today. Been the COO ever since.

there is one I use that I think came from Ask A Manager. 'What would separate good performance from excellent performance?'. Asked for two reasons, one it shows your interested in being excellent and gives you a chance to related what they say to your own experience. Also surprising how many I've seen say 'ability to…

Some of these are a little too personal / creepy / off-putting such as:
#4 What's your morning schedule, and what time do you wake up in the morning?