I loved that pizza! I still look for it, too.

“Hoofjuggling thundercunt” Forget “band name” I want this in my obituary.

I was out with my mom and we parked next to a car with one of these plates (not from NC, but same design) and my mom, a retired ob/gyn with zero fucks who at the time was nursing a nasty upper respiratory infection, coughed all over the door handles.

This photo is like if Catherine O’Hara and Mr Bean tried to remake Eyes Wide Shut.

Hughnibrow! Good choice.

We all would, we all would.

I’m glad she got hurt. I hope her pain is long lasting, and that her child is sent to live with better role models.

The kid was already scarred by virtue of the type of person the mother was. But poor kid anyway.

Maybe I am a terrible person, because I still finds this hilarious.

I'll hold on to the belief that he won't remember this and enjoy the schadenfreude.

I don’t care who gets mad at me for this, but: GOOD. That’s what this bitch gets. I’m happy her child wasn’t the one hurt. Now, hopefully she wasn’t shot through the brain, and can understand why having guns just lying around everywhere where your kid can get into them isn’t such a great idea.

No mushrooms?! That sounds perfect

That burrito sounds...amazing. I think I need it to marry me.

No, no, you mean it’s a “moo” point. Like a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter.

You poor sweet baby, I am so sorry, I had no idea the plight of the Canadians!

Awesome story: my dad’s best friend is like my uncle. My “uncle’s” dad worked for the state of California and was fired when Reagan was governor. When my uncle’s father died Reagan showed up at the funeral. My uncle’s mother grabbed Reagan and kicked him out saying her husband wouldn’t have wanted him there and she…

She was interviewing them. It is her job. It is not “prudishness” to want to do your job without asking if you want to fuck, or without being sexually assaulted. I fear for the women you work with. And, I’ve worked with assholes like you. You suck.

Oof. Your father and I wanted to wait until we were commenting together to tell you this, but Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce isn’t being renewed for another season. It just didn’t work out. But it’s not your fault.

Um, the next time you see your mom could you give her a high five from me, just ril quick like?

They just want their men to DRESS like JFK..just dress like him.. i guess a gal gets tired of hoisting down size 52 waist dockers pleated front easy fit khakis every night, and dreams of a man that doesn’t dress like a diabetic Youth Pastor cruising the restrooms at the local state park