Do you hate puppies and unicorns, too?

I hope whoever agrees to write this paper for him intentionally writes a paper chock full of incorrect facts. Like how Benjamin Franklin invented feminism and women were given the right to vote in 1971 and how Roe v. Wade gave women the right to row a boat.

He deserves my neighbor’s dog. They say his name is Tigger, but I call Yappy Little Fuckstick.

#TeamHarper4Lyfe

A mall near me has 6, yes, SIX pretzel stands. Three Wetzel’s and Three Anne’s. And they are all always hopping. Apparently, we REALLY love pretzels in Northridge.

I could look at Gale Harold all damn day long and never get tired of his face.

There is a special place in hell for them.

Oh, so awful. Last month I had them and used the bathroom in BevMo. It was so bad I wanted to leave a $5 bill and a note that just said “Sorry” for the next person that walked in there.

In their case, I think it is more likely they stay together because no one else will fucking have them. They are horrible people.

At the age of 44, I just recently had my first taste of marshmallow fluff. Damn you, Hippie Mother Who Never Let Us Have This!! A spoonful of this with some peanut butter is my new favorite and I don’t even really have a sweet tooth. (It’s the sweet/salt combo that does it for me.) Now I am imagining adding a banana…

Agree. And it just pissed me off when Betty kicked Naomi’s kimono off the stage during the lip sync. That was a shitty move and not at all shocking coming from AB. Good riddance.

Last week my mom and I went to a nice Italian restaurant that we had never been to before. We ordered the fried mozz and it was the best I have ever had. They weren’t sticks, but triangles and you could tell it was quality cheese. I might be ruined to regular mozzy sticks now. Dang, now I want them again.

I had that same thought. If she was a boy, you just know all the comments would be how awesome he is and what a great future he has and what a go-getter he is and blah fucking blah. Get it, Hilde!

Oh, when Acid Betty said Snatch Game sucked I knew she was out. She has interesting looks for sure, but I hate her personality. Not at all sad to see her go. As for Derrick doing Brit Brit, Ru basically told him to do it, so it would have been suicide not to. Bob and Chi Chi were the only good things about this Snatch…

Ass boils are the worst. I have had my share. When they pop on the toilet and it just gushes into the bowl is such a relief. Had more wads on tp in my panties than I can count.

My hair doesn’t look that good when I blow dry it. Cow has better volume in her hair than I do.

You are a better woman than I am. Because I think I would throw myself in front of a train if that happened.

On more than one occasion, I have offered her a tissue. She doesn’t get the hint. Blissfully, she is not here today so I am just BATHING in the GLORIOUS SILENCE.

This is the most horrifying thing I have ever read.

I get boils and cysts all the time, so I have million gross memories. But I think the worst one was the one on my stomach a few years ago. I could tell it was ready to burst, so I put toilet paper over it and squeezed gently. The pus flew out so fast I could feel it flying. And it was very, very hot. Which I could…