Everything by Lois Duncan is a flawless read. Her repertoire is one of the few things that I loved as a 6th grader that still hasn't tarnished: I can waste a whole afternoon on her novels even if I've already read them. NOTE: The new editions of her books have contrived red-herring updates peppered in (someone throws…

Is it just me or are most of the tattoos on Ink Master this season totally shite? All I keep thinking is how did you people even get on this show? I like Best Ink a whole lot more.

This would get a contestant sent home on Ink Master.

I am totally victim blaming the human right now—such a tease!

Non Consent St. Bernard cares not about your rebukes.

Ugh, Miley. It's only 9:47am and you've already ruined my day. Just stahp.

That cat physically resembles my long departed kitty. We sedated him and castrated him right there on the back porch. (The DVM and I). Charged with supervising kitty after anesthsia, he did look THAT stoned when coming out. But the funniest/most pitiful part was when he tried to get up and walk around. He woke up…

Thank god someone else said they'd eat that Arby's potato monstrosity. I couldn't tell if I was crazy from the baby growing in me or if it looked legitimately good.

I would eat the fuck out of one of these on a Sunday morning with a bloody Maria and a gallon of water. Haters and those who care about their cardiovascular health can exit to the left.

Come to me, my breakfast lover.

I kind of really want the Arby's one. But I have a problem with fast food hash browns in that I think they are the best potato product.

Their mac and cheese is pretty good (head hang in shame)

What, no Carl's Jr (aka Hardee's) breakfast burger? I allow myself this glorious abomination once a year. I'd like to have it more that that, but I would also like to live.

I want there to be a Double Down-style sandwich where it's eggs, bacon and cheese between two sausage patties. I'm gonna go copyright that so I can be rich.

intensive purposes

It's like this co-worker of mine. Sends an IM, then an email, then shows up at my desk all in 30 minutes. It's like, "chill out, captain shitshow, I have other things to do, and your projects aren't the only ones I work on."

Patience, fools.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my projectile vomiting..

Mayonnaise makes life worth living.

And I have to shit like a Led Zepplin has to rock. I need a commode and I need one NOW!