Ugh, Miley. It's only 9:47am and you've already ruined my day. Just stahp.

That cat physically resembles my long departed kitty. We sedated him and castrated him right there on the back porch. (The DVM and I). Charged with supervising kitty after anesthsia, he did look THAT stoned when coming out. But the funniest/most pitiful part was when he tried to get up and walk around. He woke up…

Thank god someone else said they'd eat that Arby's potato monstrosity. I couldn't tell if I was crazy from the baby growing in me or if it looked legitimately good.

I would eat the fuck out of one of these on a Sunday morning with a bloody Maria and a gallon of water. Haters and those who care about their cardiovascular health can exit to the left.

Come to me, my breakfast lover.

I kind of really want the Arby's one. But I have a problem with fast food hash browns in that I think they are the best potato product.

Their mac and cheese is pretty good (head hang in shame)

What, no Carl's Jr (aka Hardee's) breakfast burger? I allow myself this glorious abomination once a year. I'd like to have it more that that, but I would also like to live.

I want there to be a Double Down-style sandwich where it's eggs, bacon and cheese between two sausage patties. I'm gonna go copyright that so I can be rich.

intensive purposes

It's like this co-worker of mine. Sends an IM, then an email, then shows up at my desk all in 30 minutes. It's like, "chill out, captain shitshow, I have other things to do, and your projects aren't the only ones I work on."

Patience, fools.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my projectile vomiting..

Mayonnaise makes life worth living.

And I have to shit like a Led Zepplin has to rock. I need a commode and I need one NOW!

That was the most amazing thing I've ever read.

It's nice of these guys to give the women around them such a clear and undeniable red flag. Most people have to wait weeks or even months to figure out that a guy is a piece of shit, they're really saving us all a lot of time here.

Honestly, at this point I would accept an OkCupid match who had 10 favorite books.

I was so obsessed with her from ages 8-10. I literally knew every word to every song, and would go around singing them all the time. I forced my mom to let me audition for the traveling show (of course I didn't make it through to call backs, I had no training!). I watched the movie over and over and over. I will…

Were you born in '71? Because I'm all for the Quvenzhané remake but hell yes Andrea McArdle was a childhood obsession of our age, especially for any girl who went to theater camp or did some "regional theater" (hometown community plays).