I am stupid excited for both of these movies.

I wanted to like this show so much. I stuck with it much longer than I normally would, hoping it would get better. I had to break up with it after the episode where it is revealed that her character is a virgin, and not for religious reasons. The assumption is that no one wants to fuck the fatty. I damn near had a…

He looks like a slightly better looking version of my most hated ex. Like if my ex was going to be maimed in an industrial accident, I would buy front row seats for that. So that makes watching the show a little weird, but it totally keeps me from perving out on him.

All I know is, now I want pizza rolls. And I am going to the grocery store after work. Dinner solved!

Let's cast it! I say Brooke Shields for Lisa. And those awful Sprouse twins for Hunter and Forrest.

Oh dear God. I didn't make that connection. That's just tragic.

Yeah, I can't get worked up this. Britney's adorable, but not all there. She is like a dumb puppy.

So deep, Aubrey. So deep.

Really? Really? Must be a slow fucking news day.

Last week's Raising Hope was so good. The Rear Window scenario and the dresses and Burt in the wheelchair were all perfect.

I came just from reading this. Gonna go have a cig now.

Oh, he won't have to take me out for sushi. We can stay in.

I recently fed an ostrich and that fucker was hardcore. It was a way more violent experience than I had anticipated.

More, please.

Is that the Absolut cilantro lime vodka? Because I bought that and all I could taste was lime. I couldn't detect any cilantro flavor.

Sadly, it will be a matter of minutes.

I am an Old and Andrea McArdle will always be my Annie. I just can't with any remake, even the Carol Burnett version. Time to go sign up for my AARP subscription, I know.

We are going to have to get you a bus pass.

I am so glad he is an ex.

Dammit! You are why we can't have nice things.