He's gotta stop grabbing people by their left ventricle!

> But given our current budget realities, the federal government cannot fund every worthy program

“Well, except for the Central Park Five. They should have killed those guys! What, me racist?”

together we will always stand for LIFE!

I’m pretty sure the first amendment already guarantees free speech on college campuses, but at least the president got to use his big-boy pen again!

But he’s alright - his head is so empty, it serves as a flotation aid!

Don’t forget to take into consideration how many more flights there are now than in ‘73.

So “Mr. Very Fine People on Both Sides” cares about the Jews now? Are Jewish Americans actually falling for this?

I think Wisconsin should ask the rest of the country for forgiveness.

Look, I’m not saying Trump knows anything about young women being duct-taped and thrown in the back of cars for purposes of human trafficking, but do you remember when Trump gave detailed descriptions of women being duct-taped and thrown in the back of cars for purposes of human trafficking?

“(Crooked) Hillary Clinton confirms she will not run in 2020, rules out a third bid for White House.” Aw-shucks, does that mean I won’t get to run against her again? She will be sorely missed!

Well, if the marks in the transcripts were anywhere near decent, he’d be plastering them everywhere.

My guess is that he stopped at the first line and thought the other guy was gloating at Cohen’s misfortune.

Who among us hasn’t done that, actually?

(The Witch Hunt) in time likely will become recognized as the greatest scandal in American political history

Good replacement for the “Thanks, Obama” meme.

I wonder how much of that $50k was to license Karen McDougal’s voice saying “Great shot, Mr. President!” after every shot.

Jesus! Even more evidence of Russia meddling with our erections.

Don’t forget the heads of every Republican in this country.