Dearest Mother,

Nashville is the spiritual home of every suburban girl who claims to be “country at heart” because she owns cowboy boots and her parents are racist.

Ok Matt may have the best submission I’ve ever seen.

I got $50 that those two are dating inside of 3 months

I appreciate how this bold young man is calling Ross out on the mission of the charity. It’s like:

i’m sure he’s gonna fire Baker Mayfield if he steps out of line *eyeroll*

“He won’t dunk at the dunk contest where we can monetize it, but he’ll dunk for free at his sons AAU game? So self centered”

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

Spoiler alert: In an article about what happens in a movie, what happens in the movie will be discussed. If you do not wish to be exposed to what happens in the movie, do not read an article about what happens in the movie.

“She got through two cups? By herself? Damn!”
-Two girls

I hope he beats this 

I’m just going to give you a star for this comment to hopefully dig you out of the grays and let others see how tightly you clutch your pearls. 

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Then Allie Long eats a page. It rules.

uh, Hamilton productions have to be predominantly black, it’s in Lin-Manuel’s script that way

How are the Cardinals doing this year? 

Jesus, this is some St. Louis Cardinals smarm. 

Really?! That’s your thought process? A supremely talented athlete celebrating her efforts is the same as official state business. Maybe if she opens some brown people concentration camps, you’ll be in the same neighborhood as a legitimate point.

a bearded everyman with the body of an elementary school security guard