MAGA!!

Good Lord.

Wow, the Neomorph design captures all of the uncanny horror of pale teenaged me in a locker room. Plus some face-eating and surplus protrusions, granted.

Speaking of stated boundaries in the Pence marriage, I still maintain that they’re actually a very out BDSM couple, which is why Mrs. Pence insists on being called Mother and doesn’t let her husband eat with other women.

Andy Borowitz nailed this at the New Yorker:

+1 limp Indiana State Fair corn dog

He’s already got the ending to the book written in his mind:

Has there ever been a more closeted face than Mike Pence? His poor wife. She must get so tired of dressing up like Rick Perry.

Tomorrow’s NYT headline: NORTH KOREA SURRENDERS (‘’That guy looked at us all mean and stuff,’ says NK border guard”)

“I thought it was important that we went outside,” he said. “I thought it was important that people on the other side of the DMZ see our resolve in my face.”

You sir, are no Joe Biden:

Remember when Rock Ross’s ankle tracker went off in the white house? haha

He’s Cotton Hill, with valium and shins.

Those lucky motherfuckers.

Every time I see him I think of Cotton Hill.

In honor of Pence, Kim Jong Un listened to Pink Floyd’s “Mother” and laughed his ass off.

To be fair, he looks pretty manly for a guy who has never made a woman cum.

Donald Trump: [looks at approval ratings]