This is gold

And I looked back and saw only one set of footprints in the sand, and I asked God, “Why, when I needed you most, why did you abandon me?” God replied, “No, Antonio, it was then that I carried you. Because you cryogenically froze your fucking feet. This was one month ago! How do you not remember this?”

If only there was an unemployed QB that previously took his team to the Super Bowl available...

You don't have to be an asshole

“Reminder that” blah blah blah.

Of course US tipping culture sucks, but it’s what’s in place right now, and not participating in it isn’t an interesting intellectual exercise or protest, it just makes you look like a prick.

Morality and legality are two separate things. Are you really an adult in 2019 and don’t understand this? Apologies if you’re actually 14.

If you can’t afford to tip 20% then you can’t afford to eat out.

But we currently inhabit the world where servers and other folks are not paid a decent wage, so...tip.

Also the 100% lack of apostrophes in the contractions.

“but believe me I would NEVER spell “Minor” like “Miner” . . . hate me for no real reason except mdy socks [sic], which I stoppex [sic] wearing . . .”

eatadick.gif

And he had the time of his life doing it.

And Eli Manning upstaged Tom Brady in a Super Bowl for a third time.

I love you for this. Fuck James Harrison.

May the Foles be with you

James Harrison’s sons: [take AFC Championship ring away from their dad]

Goodell: “Last night, Billy Cole disrespected the Cleveland Cats, disgraced his L.A. Stallions teammates, and tarnished the Shield with his shameful actions. Also, some people got shot.”