“The cheerleader!” - Roy Moore

He’s having the time of his life.

Producer: “Cue up something for the loss of Roy Halladay.”

Jimmy Haslam: *continues typing on a calculator thinking he’s sending a text*

Tom Benson: new phone who dat?

“Division II is really my preferred college football level.”

Wait, why the Beach Boy hate? Are you not aware that your sister site, The A.V. Club, correctly proclaimed Pet Sounds to be a better album than Sgt. Pepper’s?

What are the odds that he could name five more black people, living or deceased?

Really, how hard was the hit? Did Alexander ring Graham’s bell?

Mom: Okay Derrick, make sure you’re washed up before dinner.

signed by the Patriots

Someone’s not impressed

(Read in Gruden voice) Look at the motor on this guy. He gets up in there and starts banging around and BOOM he just unloads. I love the get off on this guy.

“What’s the problem? I was told to stand here, and wear this hat and jack..... oh shit.”

I am pleasantly surprised to see that this didn’t happen at a Bills game.

never heard of him.

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.

“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”