Who comes up with this shit? It's bad enough I've seen more than one Mustang (not even a GT500) that have Eleanor for a license plate...

Six crashes since '92.

Those suckers can move too!

His response to #11 is pure poetry. I love his attitude. All fucking business.

How do people like "Cocaino" not get their heads bashed in on a daily basis?

I played soccer for 10 years, albeit not professionally or even semi-professionally and with all I know about the sport I still can't watch it on TV.

Do you get to at least have sex with her in the video game? Or do drugs with her? Anything?

I'm already cracking #6 by the time the bait hits the water.

This makes me want to see the movie even more now. Because there's obviously something wrong with me, the movies everyone hates are the ones I absolutely love.

How is the universe allowing for the removal of Spaceballs?!? We've reached ludicrous speed.

My daughter loves it when I pick out her outfits. :) I feel lucky!

I won't sleep for a fucking week now, thanks.

Dumbass Americans have been getting horrible translation tattoos for years. It's only fair to allow this guy a pass.

And the daughter isn't pregnant this time.

Yeah.. I didn't mean it to read like that, sorry. And I suck at snark, the internet, and English in general.

Leaving work early to go hug my little girl. Can't imagine the pain; hope I never have to.

Trailer parks. The place where 12 year old girls are allowed to get tattooed while staying the night with a registered sex offender. What in the actual honest fuck.

When I was a server, I was happy for any tips. Some asshole even left me fortune cookies once.

You assholes are making me cry.

People watch. The #1 thing to do at stores like this.