I've always loved her. Wouldn't mind being her underpants for a day either.

What is this Basketball thing?

Good to know. I've got them, and will keep them handy. I always wondered if some odd shit would happen to me later on. God I remember they just used to shoot us up with shit all the time. First trip to Bosnia I swear I got 30 needles at once.

After my first Anthrax booster I grew a goddamn baseball on the back of my head. Docs dismissed it as "unrelated" and gave me Tylenol. Lasted about a week then disappeared. I have some pretty blurry memory from that time because the goddamn headaches were so bad.

Barely outruns a Civic, but sure looks nice.

Windex. We all know Windex is the cure-all.

Should I be so turned on watching her get fucking demolished?

Appears an attempt to get on the "Best Of" Craigslist more than an ad in spite of his marital promise.

I get stupid LinkedIn connection requests all the time from people I know. I don't have a stupid LinkedIn account jerkfaces!!

Goddamn you're good.

Looks like these pics are from the 86 Sarajevo Olympics.

This might be funny now, but when that poor city is infested with tourists/media/athletes/etc, that poor fishing string infrastructure will collapse. Disaster waiting to happen.

I blend my burgers and fucking guzzle them.

Never met you, don't like Jim Beam, but will you marry me?

I don't know, but it's been a country song, an alternative song, and probably one of those anti-motivational posters.

Whole milk = healthy. Egg yolks = healthy. American Society's sedentary lifestyle = not health. This is not rocket science.

"Skip browning meat before adding to your slow cooker"

I'm lazy; who is Lena Dunham?

I have a strange addiction to masturbating to videos of women sniffing and chewing on soiled diapers.

They should have chainsawed the tree down. Would have made a good story.