Oh, that's okay. We Americans will work hard to make sure /someone/ is being trampled underfoot, that way there's always a cause to champion. We're so progressive, we trample multiple minorities at once, just so we never run out of causes!

Odd, I know a bunch of guys that would qualify. They usually gripe that they can't find anyone, too.

I've got a client named Velveeta. Really.

I have to be careful with lawyer jokes; I work for a judge. :)

You're right, I make a living with such dishonesty, but there's such a thing as beyond the pale...

I know, right? I was trying to find "Leather bodysuit-wearing catburglar/assassin" but the closest I could find was "Politician" and "Lawyer".

There's a nice list over at http://www.foodispower.org/chocolatelist.php of companies that use ethnically sourced cocoa. Sadly, none of the major brands seem to be listed.

"Like, remember that time we were at that concert where Dave Matthews opened for Wiz Khalifa, and you guys argued over which guy was handsomer? And then Tony set your purse on fire while you threw cat poop at him? That was really awkward, and not just because it made me realize you carry cat poop around in your…

Allusive (containing allusions) or elusive (difficult to pin down)?

MRAs found Jez long ago, why would they be less likely to pop up on io9?

Aha, proof that he's only tilting a little to the left... *ducks*

I always did want a pony... mmm.

It's a legitimate potential career (see the recent royal wedding), it's just not a very likely one.

Alternatively, after a few squad-of-women-on-rapist-male soap parties, the idea that military women are easy targets may well drop.

Unrelated, but... I'm totally stealing that "I may be just a simple turnip farmer, but..." bit.

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/109/hr6407 ... the main gist of the complaint seems to be 102.1.2 where it terminates non-postal services as defined by the postal regulatory commission. As non-USPS agencies (UPS, FedEx, DHL, etc...) aren't bound by PRC decisions, they can be selective about non-delivery services…

"I had no idea so many female police officers went to this school..."

Okay, I have to ask... #3 & #4 are a couple, right? Pls?

"But that's like saying I believe zucchini is the devil's treat so I forbid all of my coworkers from eating it at work. Just because I personally can't imagine why anyone would want to eat that mush doesn't mean I can impose those beliefs on others"

Or, potentially, they only do aerial observation tickets for infractions over 20MPH. No idea, since I don't live there.