Doesn’t everything?

Well, ok, but if I get rid of my single serve coffee machine I’m going to need to find another physical manifestation for my crippling loneliness.

Yeah, no one ever gets robbed at gunpoint in the US, and it’s the last place anyone should think of when talking about crime involving guns.

For those wondering (and hoping)—no, the Cleveland Browns do not play the Giants this year.

Wow, you just lifted that comment straight off reddit.

Quick, does anyone know where Ryan Lochte was last night?

We went through every question you could imagine, and I answered even some more for them just so they knew I was good, and then went back in there.

im just really glad he’s not doing anything to distract his team like doing a kneel during a song

You’re probably going to get some shit for making a completely accurate appraisal, but I’d advise you simply ignore it.

Jerry Jones who wanted to ban players for kneeling is never anyone to root for. He is an unadulterated shithead.

All you need to know about the white ‘Merican political mind:

And to add one thing to what everyone else said:

“Obamacare” wasn’t honorific.

It’s a terrible tune.

How about that it just kind of sucks as a piece in general?

I feel like you’ve been holding on to this one, waiting for Fisher to pop up from relative obscurity. You get a star for your patience.

I also bumped into Jeff Fisher on a checkout line recently. It was at a 7-Eleven in Montana. However, after he left it was a 7-Nine.

I don’t know if they deserve to die, not my judgment to make. But the world would certainly be a better place without them.

The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

Oh man, I’ve been meaning to watch the 24 Hour War! I find myself feeling exactly the same way you do about all this. I want Ferrari to be the one marque resist inertia and stay loyal to its history and the vision laid out by its founder... I think it is possible in this climate... but not when you have a guy like…