He was just trying to show us all how to live. RIP Chris Cornell.

So there’s no way he doesn’t have significant CTE, right? I’ve never been an athlete so I really can’t put myself into the mind of someone who plays, particularly at a high level, but is the drive to compete just so strong that it causes them to ignore the risk?

So a Tesla in 2017 should definitely have them.

My 2005 Jetta had rain-sensing wipers.

Rain-sensing wipers or GTFAC.

Nibby senses a post referencing metal coming into the Kinjaverse.

Here’s Finnish metal band Nightwish covering the themes from Deep Blue Sea and Crimson Tide. Seems fitting.

Well, it’s Barstool, so.....

Never trust a country that calls its vehicles Poo Joes.

If you buy Gold, I think you get Ballaban’s Yugo.

Please tell me the headers are all the same length.

just to get some Jalopnik Internet “hits”

Pictured: Real Man™

We finally have an answer to the Damn Yankees question.

To read more about why this is the best surprise, visit: overunder dot steer backslash Dur DeMougo

Meanwhile, Ape Island is being raided by Mr. Burns.

Earlier this summer I was doing some off-road laps in the Honda, trying beat my personal best time. On my last lap, I was charging toward the finish when it started to stutter and hiccup. I knew I was down to the last few drops of fuel, so I pushed it as hard as I could, willing the little engine to stay lit until the…

I just realized that I wrote “cock’s gun” which is incorrect in that implies the gun is owned by a penis. I’m going to leave it, though. Mostly because my window for editing the post has closed, but also because the idea of a penis owning a gun so damn ‘Murrrrican.

What an ass.

Cop 1: What kind of gun is that?