One does not simply cross-section into Mordor...

I read this in the hormone monster’s voice. Thank you.

Nice to see another FD saved but dang I still hate body kits like that on these cars.

Waiting for the day when I never see an image of this rainbow snow cone tattooed rapist clown face again, the filthy piece of shit. All the punches forever.

Go Ahead, Guess What This Thing Is

Gives her child a stupid-ass name.

Kristen Lee, is that you?

This is why the rich should be eaten first when the apocalypse comes. Such tender meat from a life softer than ten-ply toilet tissue. So many resources that would be better used for the betterment of humanity as a whole. I mean, look at all that seating that could be shared among several people!

Driving from the North of Scotland, all the way through Wales and England. On to France, up into Belgium, over to Germany (for a couple laps on the ring), Austria, Switzerland. Then down into Italy and over to the east coast, around the bottom of the boot and back up the other side. Then following the Riviera through…

And, how many of those 9 people died at the minute that photo was taken, close enough to that spot get there on foot? 

You know Ultimas are good when McLaren used them for the F1 development.

If you run out of gas, it would be a lot more efficient to just take some from the airboat’s fuel tank.

interesting. the thing is, i’m DEFINITELY not 100% alert when i wake up.

OK sir you have stepped on hallowed ground! No, not the Tempra (that certainly is fairly meh having driven one)...but you said its platform mates, which includes my Alfa Romeo 155, are just barely less meh. WHAT!? Take that back. You, sir, need to educate yourself about the Alfa Romeo 155 before you speak such…

Tom, your articles are always informative based on your ongoing experience in the business, and having you here is a real asset to Jalopnik (a win-win). Thanks.

I have done wildly inappropriate and ill advised things in a Panda

Yes, the Fiat Panda, that car championed by the hipster of all hipsters:

Yup. Keep the $9K? (price for previous generation; IDK what it is now) brakes in a box in case you ever need to sell it, and set forth with the goal of eating through as many steel rotors as possible.

Same, for some reason, I just don’t care about Mario Kart. It’s playable, but it’s something that I would only ever play in a group, if that group already wanted to play it. Then again, I rarely care about multiplayer games.

Not a Good Match For: People who don’t like Mario Kart? Do those people exist?