Speaking of microwaves...a few years ago working at Target, one of my coworkers took a frozen coca cola can from his car and tried to defrost it in the microwave.

Are we sure it wasn't Ryan trying to heat up a cheesy pita?

It’s not really gender-neutral, though. Since when do boys clothes include spaghetti straps? Or shorts that are actually, you know, short? Or shirts with cut outs?

5 year olds and 18 year old girls should be able to show their shoulders. It’s friggin hot in Texas and the 5 and 18 year old boys will just have to deal with it.

every school dress code that is not a set uniform is about policing girls and girls alone.

I get that the dress code doesn’t differentiate between different ages (and I think women of any age should be able to wear whatever the fuck they want anyway), but what kind of fucked up sick person would tell a 5-year old they were showing too much skin? Just because it’s in the dress code doesn’t mean you need to…

Love him! My 17 year old daughter wore a dress with spaghetti straps yesterday and when a school administrator told her to cover up she asked him if her shoulders were turning him on. She's a sassy thing and I love it.

Bud Light: Cosby Flavored

I find it hard to believe that there was a media event that Kris Jenner wasn’t able to insert herself into.

Before the new recipe it was a weird breed of amnesia booze. This is what I remember: drank one and a half in the back seat of the car that night woke up eating Indian food the next afternoon. I got time travel drunk.

it would be irresponsible not to

So, can we take over the #Upforwhatever hashtag with these?

Hey Bud Light, it’s your shitty beer that’s supposed to be absolutely tasteless, not your advertising!

Bud Light: Why Not? I Really Do Love You

How many people had to approve that, d’ya think?

Anna I love you SO MUCH for this headline. No need for additional comments, people - the mic has been dropped.

ps, lol, fucking luke russert, who only has a fucking job because of his dad, tweeted this fucking bullshit last night

I’m sort of torn here. A part of me is like, chill out ladies, it was just a stupid Facebook post. And another part of me thinks that if my niece’s or nephew’s caregiver went on Facebook talking about how they don’t like kids and/or dealing with a lot of kids, I might suggest that my brothers find a new place to take…

Ehhhhh, I want to give the benefit of the doubt here, truly. When it comes down to it, I know I wouldn’t be comfortable knowing that one of my daughter’s day care workers hates being there. I’m not asking for it to be their pride and joy or life mission, but as a parent, it would concern me. Especially given how much…

It must hurt to be so wrong about this.