Give me the baby. I tried, unsuccessfully, to get pregnant for 3 years. GIVE ME THE BABY! My wife and I will take the baby and love it and squish it and love it and the bad lady can just go fuck right off.

On the other hand, buying a home can trap you in that property if values fall, and suddenly you are paying above market rates for housing, and you’ve lost money on your “investment.” One reason the housing market artificially inflates is because your argument is made without acknowledging that the downside risk is as…

Here is the thing though, your home is not just an investment. You LIVE there. It is not liquid like a stock you can just buy low and sell high. Say you buy this home. Your monthly payments are going to be 90% interest and you have to pay taxes and maintenance. Now you wait, and wait , and wait. 5 - 8 years later you…

She’s probably ‘doing’ finishing high school because she is 17

I thought they had a bunch of malformed Kardashians shackled up in the basement. Or just, like, ones who are normal humans. "Mom, I don’t want to be on a reality show, I want to be an oncologist.” Get in the basement, Karson.

Sometimes, I think my students are some of the most awesome and funny and genuinely entertaining people I’ve ever met and sometimes, I look at them and think, “you are just full of stupid today aren’t you.”

This is where we differ. I fuck THE HELL out of idiots.

I would not, could not, in the rain. Not in the dark. Not on a train, Not in a car, Not in a tree. I would not do him, Ellie, you see. Not in a house. Not in a box. Not next to a mouse. Or near a fox. I would not do him here or there. I would not do him anywhere!

He’s putting on his shoes so he can bring you one directly.

He looks like he smells poorly at all times.

NOOOO HOWWWW WILL I GO ONNNN?

"Please rap on my vag" is literally the best thing I've read in at least a week.

My instinct is no, but I’ve had sex with worse so I could definitely be all talk.

AN EXTENSION RAT TAIL!

Welcome to Would U?, an academic forum in which I share my gross crush of the week and ask if you, too, would bang that person.

is it fake? because it seems like it appeared over night.

...then she overcame her fears, chase the kid, caught him and strangled the brat with her own braid.
THE END.

MR. PLAY IT SAFE WAS AFRAID TO FLY

And then, while they struggle to put their lives back together, we’ll shit on them for being on welfare.

I wonder if her first words after the incident were, "Fucking told you so..."