So, my 15 year old daughter (who has always had a ghoulish streak) has this theory: The show is just Ina’s imagination. Ina is actually in a mental institution, and there IS NO Jeffrey, he’s imaginary. All the “friends” who visit are actually the nurses and staff at the psych ward, and all the cooking she does is…

Someone painted, “pumpkin spice is people” outside my starbucks.

I’m a female and have consistently accepted (after half hearted negotiations, all of which were totally shut down) what I knew were low initial salaries but insisted that I expected 6 and 12 month reviews to facilitate adjustment to my salary based on performance, based on mutual expectations.

It was, but I think a lot of the oxy users moved on to heroine within the last three-ish years (this is completely based on anecdotal evidence, I knew a few people who messed with oxy and it seems like they moved on to heroine around that time)

Why would you be over 55? Gross...

“Remember the mane!”

I had twins for lunch.

2 and a half T-Cells

I would for sure name a kid Pawn. Boss her around all the time. Fetch my slippers, Pawn, go mow the lawn, Pawn, go kill that Bishop, Pawn, that kind of thing.

Wear a skinny scarf or
I’ll send you to Darfur

“Kurt Russell” was the name of Disney’s beloved boyhood sled.

I don’t recommend trying this at all. A friend of a cousin of a friend of mine called up soup in the mirror when her parents were away. When they got back they found sobbing in the bathroom frantically trying to remove minestrone from the shower head.

I don’t know, but just last week my co-workers were saying we needed to get a banana costume for the office, “just in case”.

Let me just get the Pinkham’s Law out of the way, because I don’t see any yet and I’m SURE it’ll happen-

ARGLE BARGLE BUT RESTAURANT MANAGERS WORK HARD TOO AND NEVER GET TIPS DID YOU KNOW RESTARANT MONAGERS CARE ONLY ABOUT THE SUCCESS OF THE RESTESRAUNT AND ARE SELFLESS ANGELS TO WORK AS HARD AS THEY DO FOR THE…

my only burning concern is why CNN is giving this sentient UTI a platform to speak

If you or someone you know is struggling with domestic violence, call the national domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-799-3224

I have a torn photo (found it later wheni was maybe 10) of me crying. My older brother took it after he and my mom came out from behind a jetty where they were hiding. I wouldn’t leave the beach, so they pretended to leave me there. Lol

“My blood hurts” made me laugh harder than it probably should.

(again)

Is it possible these people are really just a shit-ton of ants operating a human suit?