I am remembering being a child, and what drove me batshit crazy was when my mother would say “no because I said so” and what she really meant was, “no, because I would have to get up and do something and I’d rather lie in bed and read all day”--but it was always said like it was for my own good. Kids get justifiably…

This is when a lady needs to bring out her knitting. “Oh, did I stab you? Sorry. Sorry again. SORRY!”

I know every time I go to the doctor I have to kick a bunch of Canadians out of the way, all of them complaining that their doctors are too conscientious and nag them to get non-lethal conditions treated. Poor bastards.

“They can go to the emergency room.” It’s right up there with “let them eat cake” and “are there no workhouses,” isn’t it?

No, they are not supposed to die in the streets. They are supposed to die quietly in their trailers or back rooms. They are supposed to die invisibly, so the rich can go on pretending nobody but rich people exist or need anything. If people start dying in the streets it will soon be made a crime, like sleeping on the…

Praying you get her back and that there is a hell for your neighbor to end up in.

Did he say when? I’d like to mark it on my calendar.

Under that logic I don’t understand why zombies, time travel and invisibility rings aren’t illegal in the U.S. Seems like a major oversight that maybe the Trump administration could help with; maybe it could out-prioritize locking up immigrants and building walls and stuff.

Wait, is the water running when your cat pees in the shower? Your cat is getting wet? Is it a Maine Coon cat who actually likes water?

Wait, is the water running when your cat pees in the shower? Your cat is getting wet? Is it a Maine Coon cat who actually likes water?

Wait, is the water running when your cat pees in the shower? Your cat is getting wet? Is it a Maine Coon cat who actually likes water?

For some tops and really lovely dresses, there is eShakti. Customizable sleeves, necklines, and lengths; many of them have “bra-strap keeps” inside the shoulders and they’re not that expensive, really. The factory is in India and they claim to pay and treat their workers well. And they come in a wide range of sizes.

“Yeah, just like it’s easier when you know who’s an asshole just by the stupid shit that comes out of their mouths.”

Such a good point. The one thing you can’t do with Fake News is leak it.

I’m thinking a burner phone stashed inside a wall somewhere.

No, no, female orgasms MAY exist, but they are not in any way caused by human actions, so there is no reason for any man to do anything different. They are caused by mysterious forces of the universe, or God. Probably not God.

You are correct. “I moved on her as if she were a bitch” would mean the other way. “Like a bitch” is modifying how the subject moved. Consider “The dog ate cake, like a four-year-old.” You know the four-year-old is like the dog, not the cake.

Yeah, I keep thinking of what would have happened if Obama had been known to have ties to the Russian president, and that president known to have interfered with the U.S. presidential election. IMAGINE. They would have had him up for treason in, like, 18 seconds. Or there would have been civil war. Imagine the talk of…

Man, I’m old. I remember when Russian leaders were considered communists. Now they’re Republicans.

Already their.