If you like caramels, you can buy these which are made by nuns. Per the pictures they seem to wear habits. http://www.monasterycandy.com/

Duh, didn’t you know about Jade Helm? The U.S. military was beginning the occupation of our land with strip clubs. Gotta start somewhere.

Yes, I believe Sephora hires pretty-looking people and teaches them nothing about the products—I’ve never asked a question other than “where is the bathroom” in Sephora that got answered. At Ulta they do often know stuff.

Yeah, nothing with chocolate in it should be taken at face value!

Such a chance for fundraising, though. They could have a prison lingerie shop where wireless bras could be bought. Who doesn’t want a non-supportive bra with a prison logo on it?

Yeah, I was thinking that too. It being Costco, you can probably buy a 100-pound jar or 100 1-pound jars all bundled together. ENOUGH NUTELLA FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, ASSHOLE OLD-PERSON PUNCHER.

Yeah, you would be so much more popular right now if the waiter had mixed up ammonia and bleach AT your table and you and your girlfriend had been forced to call in dead to your jobs the next day. Better luck next time!

but...

In all seriousness, I believe their brains don’t process cause-and-effect relationships. That section of the brain goes dark between about 12 and 20. It’s nature’s way of getting us pregnant and stuff.

It’s just a real tough thing to formulate an accurate apology for without making it worse. “I’m sorry that I knew the peanut butter could kill people and likely would, but I rationalized to myself that my profits were more important than those people’s lives. And I was gambling that I wouldn’t get caught, but I guess t…

Well then it should work both ways. People who don’t like what the bar owner did are now doing the equivalent of throwing drinks at her via her Yelp page and other social media sites. Using your philosophy, she should not be whining about that either.

That’s a different bar entirely. The bar itself is a cardboard scratching board and the floor is strewn with wadded-up paper.

Yes, I’m thinking that’s the part the liberal media left out. They were nine-foot-tall grizzly bears walking in demanding equal treatment. That damn bear agenda is taking over the country!

I think that would work. Put the baby skull in a prominent place in the bedroom and you will have far less sex, but the sex you do have (or at least the people you have it with) will be hella scary.

That is one tactful lady.

I was wondering the same thing. What the FUCK was she planning to do with a stolen child skull? Just let it roll around her purse forever, or put it on her nightstand or the back of the toilet or what? Her crime would however be a great opening to a horror movie, in which she would get everything she so deeply…

To hate all adults for all time? I dunno, that’s what I learned in middle and high school.

But that’s how twisted it was. “We don’t really think it’s a bomb but we think you tried to build something that looks like a bomb so we would be afraid of the bomb and that’s against the rules!”

Yeah, jail is not the answer. Logic dictates that we need to see if the kid weighs as much as a duck.

It was the dog treats you ate, right? Not the output of your puppy going potty? Since I have to ask that, the dog treats seem like they’d taste pretty good.