My thoughts exactly. Women are punished, disrepected and ignored for being “weak,” and if they are not perceived as weak, they are punished for being harsh, cold, bitchy, unapproachable—the vocabulary list is endless. So you just gotta pick the way you want to lose. Maybe one way one day and the other way another day,…

I don’t understand at all why only a romantic partner would be an acceptable plus-one. You’re not required or even allowed to have sex at the wedding, so....??

But as someone said above, isn’t that the parents’ problem? Mom or Dad should have brought along some Lunchables or goldfish crackers or whatever if they know little Freddy won’t eat people food. Kids pitch fits about all kinds of shit, and the answer is for parents to remove the child from the room, wait for the…

I was gonna ask if the guests actually had to have sex publicly with their plus-ones to prove they’re legit. Sounds like: yes! Right after the Macarena but before the bouquet-toss.

Yeah, I find all this confusion sort of confusing. Why would anyone assume the kids are invited if the invitation doesn’t have their names on it? I mean if the invitation is addressed to “The Hamishes,” but has some other vague signal that only the adult Hamishes are invited, that’s grounds for confusion. But if the…

Adam Lambert: yes or no?

You pretty much set up a buffet for cats. And just like humans, they might take more food than they can eat. Don’t get mad at the cat because it got excited about the amazing selection of snacks you provided.

I am totally neutral about Kanye. Not a fan, not a detractor. So watch this. It’s horribly embarrassing even for people like me who don’t care. It’s truly, impressively bad.

That would be good. It did impress me as a testimony to how little the party respects its members’ intelligence, since it’s such obvious emotional manipulation. But it works for Fox News, so why not?

I somehow got on the Republican mailing list though I’m registered Independent. Twice now I’ve gotten a “survey” from them that is about four pages long and pretends to inquire as to whether I support all the various terrible things the Democrats have done lately and especially whether I want them to be able to commit…

In a state that had a majority of Black citizens, what if they wanted to enslave whites? That would be ok with your friend, right, because of States’ Rights?

Yeah but that was just, uh, free artistic expression. Don’t you support the arts?

Perfect.

There’s got to be a way to sue people for that, and I hope she does.

If I were one of those direct aunts, I would show up with a puppy, a toddler-size drum set, and a five-pound bag of jelly beans. That really counts as two gifts because the jelly beans won’t be around forever!

Hey. It depends on what the definition of “is” is. Also I seem to remember something in my philosophy class about a real difference between being and existing, so they might do one and not the other.

But it goes both ways, doesn’t it? He chose to get involved with a foreigner who clearly didn’t understand or ascribe to his family’s values, then continually berated her for not being just like his family. I mean people do that all the time: form a relationship with some exciting person who is totally different from…

It’s just interpretive jiggery-pokery, and the bakery should have told her so.

I know, sorry. Maybe we’re all feeling a little boxed in at this point. Hopefully we will be delivered from the situation soon. Serves us right, though, really.

Well, Emily was a pretty tough nut to crack. I’m not sure anybody could live with a cat who was really like Emily. You would have to buy a whole lot of moors for her to roam around on, and who can afford moors these days?