Nick Mullens has lost the Raiders locker room.

Imagune if Hickenpooper ended up running against Fartenberry.

“last season was proof that the Sixers are ready to compete for a[n eastern conference] title right now.”

Spot on.  Yeah, if this is his “bad Dad” behavior, God help me.

To all the kids that are watching, I’m sorry. I set a bad example today.

The fact that he’s concerned that he did a bad job when he didn’t is a sign that he is a good dad.

*Rick Court sees you putting head through wall, immediately tries to recruit you*

his quad injury was a matter of quantum uncertainty

I won’t be happy until this guy is behind uneven bars

What do you get when your roster depletes?

GOP: Let’s immediately begin an investigation into Hillary Clinton sending a bomb to herself!

Clearly there are very fine people on both sides

Just wipe down the goddamn toilet seat. Provided you don’t have an open sore and you do have a functioning immune system, your body can handle those weak-ass microbes.

I’m just so disappointed that this article didn’t begin “Avril Lavigne isn’t dead--she’s born again.” It was RIGHT THERE! 

This is serial killer behavior 

Actually, he played for the Orioles this year.

If Neville Chamberlain wasn’t his father we’d have never heard of little Wilt. 

How many fucking burner accounts does Bryan Colangelo have?

“It doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived in New York. It’s still fun to look up and pretend all the buildings are giant severed robot penises.” — Liz Lemon

If Tupac is alive...then whose ashes did I smoke in that blunt???