Luke-warm take: It’s ok to be annoyed if a guy refuses to shake your hand before the game.

Turkey Fucks Chicken

Bet you 5 bucks he thought he was talking to Austria!

Jared Goff knows all that stuff also and could easily explain to reporters the coverage of any team playing them ... with his earpiece in.

Fool me 13 times shame on you ...

If he’d only knocked a woman unconscious instead, they’d have him back in a month at worst.

I was not expecting chill U.S. Open ball person to be my Monday motivation to be upbeat and not to let little annoyances at my job get me down, but here we are.

MF said “Nautious.” Like he didn’t even give it a good shot. Typed out a word that look like a Transformer that turns into a sailboat.

and especially nautious to side with someone with such poor grammar

tom Brady -made out with a young, male relative.

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Five bucks says the Patriots knew about this. Five more says the Raiders didn't.

The reason real he and Ben Roethlisberger didn’t get along was because they were too similar.

I think I can sue AB for assault after reading that text message. It definitely gave me brain damage.

I’m on Syndergaard’s side on this, but pitchers are high-strung lunatics. Not just MLB pitchers. Minor league pitchers. College pitchers. High school pitchers. Rec league softball pitchers.

His son could tell you that unhealthy scratches are worse.

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

In Mandarin they have a throwaway word that means “that” and is used like we use “uh,” it sounds almost exactly like the N-word with an A at the end. Very confusing the first time I was in a meeting with a Chinese client. 

Many people believe that Ouija boards are bad but you’ve got to talk to your kid about that shit, not go off on other parents. My mom scared the daylights out of us with her Ouija board lecture when I was little and I still avoid them.

Its still an insult, just not a slur. The real insult is being compared to The Godfather Part III.