No, no, no, Justin Bieber! You don't have any idea how a girl wants to be treated — like a PERSON, with KINDNESS and RESPECT.

No, this is a very serious and important question! I think we should all show up to seder next year in wet clothes and no shoes. Also we can't brush our hair for eight days, because they definitely did not have time to grab their hairbrushes.

During Passover, Jews aren't supposed to eat leavened bread, because our ancestors had to flee slavery in Egypt really quickly, and there wasn't time for their bread to rise. So we eat matzah, which tastes like cardboard, to remember their suffering as they wandered through the desert, or something. Leavened bread…

LOL, that's great! My mom and I eat lots of bacon (when it's not the high holidays), but my dad was raised in a Conservative temple, so he's never had bacon (or shellfish) and we never had them in the house. No one, including my dad, really understands why he's sticking with this. I think it's mostly habit at this…

Oh, I would watch the hell out of this! My parents and I are pretty secular, but we do try to keep mostly kosher on the high holidays. Yesterday morning, we grabbed breakfast at a diner (omelettes WITHOUT the side of the toast, since it's Passover), and my mother looked sadly at the menu and said, "I can't order…

I can't stand Thomas Hardy, but this adaptation looks FANTASTIC.

Really? I tried that and it felt super weird. Maybe I was doing it wrong?

I prefer giving oral to receiving, honestly. Apparently all my really interesting nerve endings are, uh, internal. I do still insist on receiving, sometimes, but it's more about knowing that my partner is happy to do so. No shame here, just different preferences.

I voted rim job. I'm still trying to convince my current boyfriend to give, as well as receive, on that one. He was weirded out by the idea of just receiving, at first. Which I understand! I was kind of freaked by the idea until I had it done to me a few years ago, but OH MY GOD, YES. As long as everyone has just…

I always loved the Court Jester — the scene where Danny Kaye is getting snapped in and out of the ability to fight well (against Basil Rathbone, no less).

This is the comment I didn't know I needed in my life!

Oh my god, that is the greatest image I have ever seen.

Congratulations! Brag away! This sounds like an awesome thing!

I think she found Jesus after graduating, but I'm pretty sure she was class of some year around the sexual revolution, so I assume she had a pretty good time until that happened. Weirdly, she was very happy with her experience at Reed overall, just not the lack of a moral compass afterward.

Aww, I think every school has to have at least one really embarrassing alumna/alumnus. I worked for my college's Annual Fund for a semester (where we call alumni and ask them for money!), and I once ended up on the phone with a disgruntled alumna who was VERY UPSET because she felt that our college hadn't provided her…

Hell, if they hired you as their copywriter I might actually buy their wine!

My mom wouldn't let me join the Girl Scouts when I was a kid because it was too Christian. This only leads to rebellion via cookie binges. I don't care if there is Jesus in my thin mints! GIVE ME COOKIES OR GIVE ME DEATH!

Yes flowers! Even a small bouquet might be a bit much if there's nowhere for her to put them, though. So, bouquet if you're meeting at her place, or a single really nice flower (I'm partial to brightly-colored dahlias) if you're meeting out.

I'd vote for her in 2020!

I love everything about Lake Bell's ensemble. I probably would have loved it even more during my years as an adolescent Goth, but I still love it now, even though the only black thing I am wearing today is socks.