Albert. Every word you write here is true. But I present to you a very important counterargument.

It was nice of Mapou to bend down so that Messi didn’t have to run and get his head-butting stool from the sidelines.

The best part is AJ looking up at the umpire in disbelief after not getting the call.

Hahahahaha! That’s funny.

You don’t go out looking for jobs like that, do you? On a weekday?

Andrew Luck is going to be the richest athlete ever. His salary won’t even include all that extra cash he makes by charging people to cross the bridge he lives under.

I got two games for taking a sick day when I wasn’t actually sick. So, do I get more time off?

But then he would have a red flag, so he wouldn’t be red flagged for not having any red flags anymore, so that red flag would be rendered moot, which would mean he would have no red flags, which would be a red flag, which would mean his lack of red flags wasn’t a red flag anymore, which would take away his red flag,…

“All crucial decisions made in the Atlanta area are made with the goal of avoiding traffic, and then failing to avoid that traffic.”

this deserves at least 87 stars

What company logo has been tattooed on the most people? My vote is the Nike swoosh.

“You could smell it at practice.”

The SEC even does media guide errors better. On page 178, after Vanderbuilt’s schedule, they accidentally left in ‘BLESS THEIR HEARTS’.

“We sincerely apologize for the offensive error in the media guide.”

The first time I ever ate kale, I had a reaction akin to the way people describe the Haribo Sugarfree Gummi Bears, only kale-colored. I mean, who knows, maybe it wasn’t kale, maybe I was already sick, idk idk. But I’m not especially eager to try again, so ever since I’ve told people I’m kale intolerant and stayed…

I used to play pretty seriously. The rules are simple. The main goal is to achieve “The Queen’s Errand,” or have the most netted balls by the end of the crow’s watch. If the pepper is placed in your path, you have to wheel the cranberry using only the poetic side of your bike. The lines on the court indicate the…

I can’t stop flailing. I’ve taught so many geomorphology labs on landscapes, and run my students through crater-counting dating exercise, and both of those tell me that this is NOT what we expect to find on freaking Pluto.

Tidal heating works SO WELL as a model for the icy moons. That tidal massaging can exactly create…

Toothpaste guy isn't using a finger. He's saying he takes a shit of paste then spreads it via tongue before brushing. Kind of genius...

The police report mentions that, as the attack was taking place, Kromer repeatedly yelled, “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.”

“Yeah, I sold you the business now give me more money!”