CONFERENCE Championship Game, bub. We want credit for getting taken to the woodshed in the appropriate game, damn it. And make sure you capitalize it. It's all we've got.

Plus, he's white.

What's more self-serving than a guy announcing he's staying in school? A professional journalist commenting on it.

Former NFL GM on ESPN "Be a pro, act like a pro and just say 'Hey I'm coming back' in a tweet" Sure, bud.

"His draft stock may plummet, but Christ on a bike is his chicken stock to die for."

His first three college games, ever. Against teams ranked #11, #1, and #2. In the divisional championship game, the Sugar Bowl, and the National Championship.

3 "average" games? I'm guessing not only are you an Oregon fan but you've been lost in Texas for 3 days now and have lost all sense of perspective.

I'm sorry, but before you talk anymore shit I'm going to have to see your stat sheet from when you came off the bench unexpectedly and whomped three of the best teams in the country en route to a National Championship.

He was aiming for a full stadium but he missed...

[Not pictured: sex.]

I love that Andy Reid leads by example when it comes to off-season conditioning.

That's actually the only way to act in a goddamn Buffalo Wild Wings.

Almost as bad as charging people to watch the Mets.

"52. Do you believe it is ethical to have an convict out on furlough plow a small patch of the snow-covered field right before your team attempts a potential game-winning FG against a warm weather team? ___YES ___NO"

yea, except the Pats sellout streak extends back to 1994. just because a team is good doesn't mean the fans are bandwagoners

Despite the above, Do you think you can be an impartial juror, Mr. Bledsoe?

Bill Belichick would simply list every potential juror as "questionable" and leave it at that.

54. Are you aware that the Sixth Amendment affords the defendant the right to a public trial by an impartial jury?

You don't need a questionnaire to whittle down No. 18, just some cold weather and the blitz.