Jesus, that was a batshit seance. You'd think that well-connected Spanish sportswriters would have Torres' cell number.

You the real MVP, unnamed employee.

How are you supposed to be ready to possibly swing at a pitch if you don't have adequate time to scratch your balls?

But you're taking away the HUMAN ELEMENT of fans falling asleep in the stands.

That arm motion is called The Heliflopter

What a piece of shit. I hope she sues him and takes everything including the Photoshopped shirt off his back.

There's a spot on the couch if you need it, but i should warn you, the couch pulls out, i don't :)

It is really shitty that you will get all the stars just because you are in the black. 10 people said the same thing before you, but you steal the stars.

If you're the keeper, do you trust the ref to know that throwing it into the goal results in a goal kick, or do you try to save the ball?

Leave it to an American to score a wacky goal by using his hands.

Jim Tomsula signs all of his kids' homework, but he doesn't review it closely.

Feel free to pretend like you know all about Jim Tomsula

First, Burger King buys Tim Hortons. Then, Greg Howard claims Canada as "home". What's next, you Yanks gonna get good at hockey too?

I'm surprised at the change in Jeremy's appearance. He never was one to let himself slide.

You mean, like this?

Wishful thinking. My Kelvin is always larger and I never go negative.

Give them time, the Wizards may make the Finals one day.

like a true champ. Apex all the things!!!!

They're going in the wrong direction.

It's amazing what Jeff Gordon can do when Brad Keselowski isn't wrecking him.