Poor Detroit.

The Real House Knives of Lithuania?

Chopped

Holy shit, that assistant is one of the coldest motherfuckers I've seen in a while. How his bladder was not immediately evacuated after that knife landing 1cm away from his face, I will never understand.

Lithuania's We're A Small Country And We Don't Necessarily Have Somebody Talented In Every Category.

To be fair, he did hit what appears to be the broad side of a barn.

Lithuania's Got Negligible Talent

If you think you can do better, I'd like to see you try!

Important lesson: if you're the sidekick for a knife thrower, make sure the dude's degree ain't from Chuck Knoblauch's School o' Knife Chuckin'.

Then it's time for the finale. A watermelon is placed above the young dude's head and oh holy Christ he nearly gets a knife put through his fucking eye. The watermelon remains undisturbed.

Multiple reports on twitter the assistant turned down an interview for the Jets GM job.

The requirements to join the eurozone are just getting weirder and weirder.

Yeah... My thoughts pretty much mirror theirs...WTF?

"That's him! That's the real killer!"

If you told most 20-somethings-who-get-shitfaced "I'll give you millions of dollars to not get shitfaced" they'd be sober for as long as the paychecks kept coming in.

Some of those perpetually shitfaced 20-somethings you reference are alcoholics.

SKIP BAYLESS: I can say what I want on TV. Ever heard of the First Amendment?

Well, his parents thought he had enough of a problem to send him to counseling for alcohol. I don't think that's normal, even for a shitfaced 20-year-old.

I'd suggest he enter a 12-step program, but he's already shown he's hopeless when it comes to going through progressions.

Calling Johnny Manziel an alcoholic is like calling snow white.