There could be a list of best foods to eat with sporks.

He's pretty salty about it.

My drinking problem is back.

I attended a wedding wherein the bride’s cousin was wearing at-shirt from a strip club. Was he very fancy, or just look[ing] nice?

I covered beer and hard cider. You wanna get wasted, fine but it's on you. You don't like beer, here's some boozy apple juice.

Fuck Jim Spanfeller.

I was wondering if they were going to strike today and just leave their best non sports articles in the featured section.

Because it was HIS idea to fuck things up. He’ll gladly drive this whole joint off a cliff to avoid admitting he was wrong.

Golf enthusiast Donald Trump takes time out of his busy schedule to enjoy a baseball game, which is a sport many people who share a common country enjoy more than they enjoy other sports.

Jesus. I didn’t realize the cowardly dicks running things actually made them take it down.

“Raheem Morris, Mike Mularkey, and Dirk Koetter.”

“Where’s Alge Crumpler?”

I always liked his family restaurant, Big Bol.

We all need our fifteen seconds of pleasure.

“See the asshole, taste the asshole”

Type something up would ya, we’re paying for this.

“We have irrefutable evidence that will lead to an open and shut conviction of Mr Ujiri. We are therefore caving like a souffle left out in the sun too long.”

Bravo

Leech. Or maybe tick. Something parasitic at least.

Pictured: the subject, starting his sentence the way he begins every sentence, with the phrase "Well, actually..."