Clearly you've never woken up in a bed of scorpions.

Michael Caine notwithstanding, it's genuinely unpleasant watching the world burn.

That’s a damned valid point.

Home

Just put him in at quarterback, he'll send it to the other team anyway.

“According to my grandma..."

I don’t have eyes in the back of my throat, champ.

I’m getting reports that, in fact, all 16 fit on Herro’s gargantuan dong.

Nobody gives a shit about us flyover states or our schedules.

Worked for Custer.

Take your star and go think about what you've done.

+2 for flinching?

“the masses, the heavens, any and all of Philip Rivers’s children”

I had not seen that before. Very fitting.

+1 pyrrhic victory

“It’s amazing what can happen when an offense uses its best receiver to receive the ball instead of throw it on trick plays.”

The Turnover King Has Returned

“Y’know, in my day cheerleaders were real ladies. They fought hard enough to make you work for it, but not so hard that you couldn't take it."

Ron Howard voice: “it was not big”

“Please don't put me back in the hole, boss. I promise I'll be good!"