Different strokes?

“A real man wouldn’t need to ask his wife for approval,” Callaway said and flashed a large grin to the group of people huddled by the puppies.”

I had to check to make sure Luis hadn't just pulled the name from a roster alphabetized by last name.

It’ll be Carr.

Conversely, I’m not driving my car anywhere, I’m a demonstrably horrible driver, and the next time I take my car out of the garage, I’m highly likely to drive it into a telephone pole. After doing so, I’ll keep driving it, refusing to take it to the shop.

It’s clear that the home has been staged, and some essential items removed.

“Pro cheater" is a weird hill.

Dammit this is good.

Appropos of nothing:

Good. From everything I've read, fuck that guy.

I want a master cut of all the Gary stories at the end of this, a la the McBain movie.

Imagine Durkin, sitting, poring over weather reports, mapping out the best way to use high temperatures to push for at least a dozen cases of heat stroke.

Durkin thinks about the hundreds of kids who didn’t die. They keep him up at night. His bloodlust is unsated.

I will immediately pledge lifelong loyalty to the first official team Twitter account that links their own WYTS article with the response "Tough but fair"

I keep reading Pitaro as Pitino, which also seems appropriate.

Tomorrow: Pete Alonso battling bruised quad, will be able to stay in lineup.

I see you've met my brother in law. He's even less pleasant than you'd think.

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

When you get your shot at an elite quarterback, you take it.

Jesus, dude.