Bad time to point out I laid my car, also.

Already laid the deed to my home on that line.

*Takes card to Applebee’s*

You wanna be mad at him, and stay back, to make him earn your love and trust again, but you’re just so damned happy, and you giddily jump up and down screaming “Daddy!” Over and over again. And your dad says “Christ, son, you’re 35, stop calling me that. And put some fucking pants on. You’re why I left.”

+1 kneecap

I don’t have an alternative solution, but it kinda seems like suspending a dude without pay is the sort of stressor that might induce a worsening of his substance abuse.

Came to say the same thing. He will definitely remember who didn't show.

1. What do you suppose people with physical disabilities and the elderly are probably pretty shitty at? Did you guess aiming and using a handgun?

I’ve never looked down and thought “maybe a gun will make it bigger.”

Christ, who handed my toddler the controller?

I’m stunned Davis wants out of there.

Boomshakalaka

Only when playing in the Big 12

Definitely worth the watch. Give yourself some time afterwards, it’s a lot to digest.

Some helpful information for anyone who describes themselves as a “superfan”: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy

I’m confused by the pictures at the top. Is the one with him smirking like an asshole on the left his mugshot, or a screencap from elsewhere? If it’s option A, then we’ve seen exactly what Covington kid will look like at 47. If it’s option B, does he not own any other shirts?

“legalized standup comedy two years ago.”

A lot of effort for a solid joke.

You can see the hangar on the referee shirt...

Andy Reid is actually working on an immortality serum, powered by unspent timeouts. Motherfucker already has an extra thirty years waiting for him.