He threw Tracy Porter eight yards!

The lack of location specificity makes this question all the better.

I had forgotten about the Gallaraga perfect failure. Excellent reference.

Encouraged.

Lincoln won the popular vote. He won a plurality (more votes than any other candidate) in 1860, and a majority in 1864.

“if not for their performative outage, I could've gone on enabling my good friend, Dr. Rapist. Clearly I'm the real victim here."

Jordan, MN:

It’s heart wrenching.

Washington is working out a deal for him to play quarterback.

That was actually on their business cards.

“I was promised candy upon entering this panel van.”

The big fella picking up his kids warms the cockles of my evil old heart.

I’m ecstatic about this reference.

Hey! I try like hell not to resemble that remark.

“Don’t be soft”

This seems like a joke, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is.

“What was I supposed to do? Take a single moment to think through the facts of the case and recognize that no malicious violations of the rules had occurred? That opens a veritable Pandora's Box, and before you know it, I'd have to spend the whole day actually thinking."

I’m concerned about Jeremy's inability to spell his own last name.

He came dangerously close to eating a faceful of shoe.