• Don’t say “nigger.”

Nothing will top this:

Yesterday was Taco Tuesday, he’s been in the shitter a lot and missed the call 

My wife and I attended Circus Juventas in St. Paul, MN (think Cirque du Soleil, but kids). Two people in front of us would not stop talking. I tapped them on the shoulder, leaned in, and whispered, “someone should tell those rude kids they’re interrupting your conversation.” and sat back up. They were mortified. I’ve…

Baseball can’t ban Three True Outcomes dudes, and there’s a growing feeling that they’re responsible for a downturn in viewership (I disagree with that notion, but it’s not a ridiculous sentiment). This hopes to incentivize teams to promote high contact, low power players, because their value will increase if there…

This is exactly the kind of Kinja that keeps me coming back day after day! Question mark!

At least he can boast that he’s responsible for one-third of Nathan Peterman’s career offensive touchdowns.

+1 Groucho

Gee whiz, where do I sign up to attend a pro football game?

When I was a little leaguer, my mom just rooted for outs. When I struck out, which was often, she was always there, with a positive word about being one out closer to being “done with this fucking game.”

Has John Wall always struggled to finish breakaway dunks?

Have you no sense of decency, sir?

+1 used toilet paper

Yup. Zero middle ground exists between beating children and spoiling them.

Fitting. Like a 48" Wrangler waistband barely clinging to life around a proud boy.

Apparently “Superman-ing that ho” was less lastingly profitable than 2007 led us to believe.

I’m glad I previewed before clicking. I’m still at work, and enough Deadspin comments have sent me to places I wasn’t intending that IT has an eye on me.

Are those guillotines penis sized?

The answer is no. Also, dude changed the rules in the middle. At first, it was that Federer only gets to hit the ball once, then he decided that if he touches the ball off Federer’s racket, he wins. Even if dude reaches the ball, there’s no way in hell it’s coming back playable. So, no, not even while Calvinball-ing…

Kawhi plays in Canada, which is in the North, not the East.