That’s how somersaults were born.

Liberty football players are as aware of the rulebook as they are of the Bible.

The first one, it doesn't even look like he kicks it into gear. He just coasted by everyone.

I’ve always dreamed of being Bill Murray in Space Jam. Inexplicably out of place, annoyingly self aware, yet somehow invited to play anyway.

Maybe the dude who posted this shouldn’t have the keys to union negotiations...

 Curse my damned seniality. 

Go home Roger.

In the late 90s I would have a girl I was really into come to my place to watch football games. All she too away from it was that, when the Atlanta Falcons did the “Dirty Bird” touchdown dance it looked like they were digging holes.

I assume everyone involved in producing the garbage they call pizza has unclean hands. 

Jesus. A hit like that belongs on a Jacked Up segment from the early 2000s.

“Better Slander, Better Libel, Papa John’s”

*reads label*

I had no idea Luol Deng was still in the league. I thought he retired, like, five years ago.

Next you're going to tell me Karl Malone wasn't really employed by the US Postal Service.

Even in that situation the parent is foisting things on the child. It’s just that in the case of a parent allowing their children total autonomy, the thing foisted is a long prison sentence and a neck tattoo.

How does one go about that? Every choice you make about raising your child is *by definition* foisting your lifestyle on them. 

My wife and son are vegan, and I am at home (to provide consistency for him). We get this hand-wringing from family frequently. At the moment, my son is three, so, yeah, I’m forcing him to eat a vegan diet, because whatever food I provide is forcing him to meet that diet. He’s three, and has no autonomy in his…

It’s somehow fitting that White had the shortest dong possible.

Mark Davis’ godawful bowl cut makes more sense now. It’s hiding Al’s face a la Harry Potter.

If my time driving past billboards in Wisconsin has taught me anything, it's that the proper term for worst/best is wurst.