Fine Print: “This offer is for a limited time only.”

“I’m very sorry that you caught me doing shit I wasn’t supposed to do, and I vow to never again get caught doing that particular shit.”

Because John Connor is the hero ‘Merica needs, though maybe not the hero “Merica deserves.

You’re bringing Jarritos? To whom do I make out my blank check?

It’s blowjob face. He’s making “I’m getting a blowjob” face about the anthem.

Why do they keep playing the game? Tinkle Lohan is the best thing I’ve read in days.

This raised an interesting question for me. Is there an absolute zero for stupidity? Like, temperature can’t go lower than zero Kevin, so can actual, earnest discourse between people reach a point where it cannot be less useful to humanity? If you, like I, believe that point to exist, then no, Meghan McCain is not…

This is a fucking work of art.

Drop-22

That’s the special hell where the pronunciation gained traction.

There’s a special place in hell for people who use that pronunciation.

He strikes me as the kind of person who refers to a slice of cheese pizza as “ethnic”.

This is fascinating. I’m from Minnesota, and didn’t know any of this. Thanks for the great piece.

+1 Sven and Ole

To what do the computers equate? Is it, like, 1 computer = 10,000 abaci?

Is an algorhythm when Nelson Agholor plays drums?

Frank Fuscia?

Anthony Weiner and Twitter?