I had just fucking forgotten watching Kendall’s leg turn to mush. Thanks for bringing it back up...

It’s distressing how comforted he seemed by a three game swing in the loss column. “Hey, I thought we were a complete dumpster fire, but it turns out we’re a respectable 5-17. Playoffs bound, baby!”

Both poached and coddled eggs are referenced between Woodhouse and Archer.

He does not. Not because he’s capable of telling black people apart (he cannot) but because the only person in the world is the smarmy fuck smirking in his mirror every morning. So, while Kanye and Frederick Douglass are interchangable, they are not the same *people*.

Buttfumble II: The Rectalling

Sick slick word trick.

It *was* super silly.

Boooo!

I can’t imagine having your body fail you that many fucking times, and still pressing forward. Good for him, I hope he has a solid season.

It’s not a boat.

“something he’s only ever done seven times in his nine-year career”

This is a wonderful meme.

It’s Price is Right rules. Gotta be exactly right to get the dollar in Bob’s pocket.

This is excellent.

He’s gotta cover his jammies.

He didn’t tumble into anyone and blow their knee out. Could’ve been scrappier.

Where the hell was this for the roughly eighty years he was in Minneapolis?

Starred for orange foolius

Can’t wait for him to send all of Miami a gift basket and coupon for free herpes tests.

“I can’t wait to get you on the golf course” is the adult version of “My dad can beat up your dad!”