The NFL is saying the form and certification — WHICH EXPLICITLY SAYS AND HAS SIGNATURE SPACES FOR “OWNER, PRESIDENT, GENERAL MANAGER, HEAD COACH” AND WHICH CERTIFIES THE “CLUB” — is applicable to employees subject to a CBA.

Tom Brady’s appeal has argued the code doesn’t apply to him; indeed, only team owners, presidents, general managers, and head coaches have to sign it. (There’s no reason to believe players even knew it existed until it was used to punish Brady.)

“ or artificially increasing “crowd” or other noise levels in a stadium during the reporting period.*” So is this the same Breach of integrity the Falcons got a slap on the wrist for?

Clandestine legacy porn sounds real fancy.

I wish this anecdote were a little more baller.

I know that feel bro.

chronically bro

Am I just too old, or is everyone associated with online “pranks” a terrible person?

I think this giant penis may be the cause.

Needs more guns.

What kind of fucked-up bullshit did I just read? 1) running from vaccinations! 2) homeschooling! 3) Exerting parental control to teach your child only about the confederacy?

I was just coming here to say that - this is some poor photo selection.

MAYBE STABBING SOMEONE IN THE FACE IS A FORM OF GREETING IN HIS CULTURE! PLEASE CHECK YOUR CULTURAL NON-FACE-STABBED PRIVILIGE!

I love that the author of the pancakes story totally implies that the only way to impress a date is to order the expensive stuff on the menu.

I’m constantly amazed at the number of times I’ve tried to warn customers away from a dish only to have them order it anyway.

It continues to amaze me that some customers think that people who professionally make coffee drinks don’t know how to make coffee drinks. Like a barista doesn’t know how to make a cappuccino?

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

A few weeks ago, I was in a class for work, and we had a catered in lunch. The girl sitting next to me said, “Oh, I hope they have something gluten free.” I responded with “Oh, you have Celiac disease?” To which she replied, “No, I’m just kindof intolerant. Like if I eat gluten, I get bad heartburn.”

Fuck. You. So. Hard. (says the man who had bland oatmeal for breakfast and is about to drown in drool)