Urban myth, at least me and my buddy Ben Shapiro have never been able to find one.  

No, it’s not a reference. Those words are just funny.

Wait until they hear about Buzz Aldrin’s real life phobia of Ruffles

Every single car does this automatically. It’s how defroster settings work.

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Well it smells like a steak and was endorsed by a clown, so...

Hey, congrats on making a shitty political statement no one asked for on a nice article!

And by making your own politics quite clear, revealing yourself as an absolutely abhorrent monster!

“We’re going to see the Sick Outs and Non-response To Calls that I think the NYPD(?) threatened around the time of Ferguson.”

For real. No one said they were Great Literature - they’re entertaining YA coming-of-age-in-a-dystopia novels.

“dense fucking cabbage” is my new favorite phrase

Naw, this is Phase 1A after the hissy fit the unions threw about being called thugs was roundly laughed at. We’re going to see the Sick Outs and Non-response To Calls that I think the NYPD(?) threatened around the time of Ferguson. The union has to do something to get white America back on its team!

Is it possible to fit all of this on a t-shirt?  If so, I’ll take three dozen.

TBF, it was written for ages 9-12 so I can’t blame them, it’s the people who thought it was GREAT LITERATURE

Don’t forget when liberals were putting their trust in generals and the intelligence community while conservatives were discovering their love for Russia and North Korea.

The prominence of TERFs in the UK is so weird to me. Like, every country has them, but it seems like they’re everywhere over there and I’ll never understand why.

I always thought the most Rowling-esque character in Harry Potter was Rita Skeeter but it turns out she was Dolores Umbridge all along.  

I would never have guessed in a million years that, in terms of the culture wars, liberals would get Nascar and conservatives Harry Potter.

2020, man.

In 2016, ABC News even hired an executive coach to help her relate better to her colleagues. However, it didn’t work.

“These views and actions do not represent ABC News’s values. We just hired her, supported her, and protected her from the numerous complaints.”

WTF is wrong with people? Don’t they know that “pandemic” and “international crisis” are just other ways of saying “opportunity”?