yah, NFL can’t wait to host opening night without the Super Bowl MVP. That’s a marketing dream.

Sorry gang.

“You just hope he adds some meat on his frame if he wants to go pro. Maybe he gets some heft from his mother, probably one of those video gals we got down here in Atlanta. What? What did I say now?”

At 6’11” and fifteen years old, he’s already a bigger man (literally and figuratively) than Dwight Howard.

This statement makes me want to punch an Olympic mascot in the nuts.

For the record, the Lake Placid Olympics Village became a Federal prison.

Sorry we weren’t interested in being scammed, USOC. Maybe you’ll have better luck stealing money and land from Los Angeles?

Who does that, you ask?

are you fucking kidding me with this comment

CHECK YOUR CHEESE PRIVILEGE

Omg Lazy Susan. I hate hate hate crotchety regulars. I already know your damn ticks. I already know what you’re going to ask for. One customer who thought he was a charming, grouchy old man (wrong, everyone there hated the shit out of serving your lonely ass) tried to bitch at me for bringing out his ALWAYS ALWAYS…

Yeah, I’m going with Swiss cheese girl too. “She was JUST ASKING!! How HARD would it have been for the server to just ANSWER?! NOT EVERYONE KNOWS DIFFERENT TYPES OF CHEESES ARE CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE GAWD”

Is that newspaper cover real? That is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen.

And that the fucking remedial chant is so easily thrown back in our face. Even my 4-year old thinks it's funny to say "J-E-S-T", and that little bastard can't even read.

This article is bullshit. HOW CAN EGGPLANT NOT BE A HEALTH FOOD!? IT HAS PLANT RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME?

Wow, the Jets fans turning on each other happened early this year.

*ordering at Just Salad*

*is seated at Ruth’s Chris*

“Oh, they’re a vegetarian, so they won’t eat anything that looks like meat.”