Keep trying to find an image that someone came up with that goes with this old joke, but it's appropriate more now than ever:

Derp

It's been done.

Ironically, Douglas will go lick his wounds in his private cabin.

Like the Dude, I also hate the fucking Eagles.

You're an asshole.

Just got off the phone w/Danny Almonte...he likes this story...

I feel the same way when the schoolgirls I've paid good money to watch end up having stretch marks and varicose veins.

The Detroit Lions are the perfect team for the city of Detroit. Constantly declining in value, incompetently managed, and haven't been good since the 1950's

So that's what happens when you stop using PEDs.

Diet and exercise is one option, but I usually choose Jagermeister when I want to lose half of a Saturday.

"My question—and this is just a straight, honest question—is he a brother, or a cheeseball brother?" - Rob Parker

The Crüe haven't gotten that much attention since '92. Goodnight, Arizona!

The Mets haven't heard sounds like that since Mo Vaughn grazed the field.

"Amongst other lines he should skip."

Rob Ryan's lap band slipped off as easily as a condom on Travis Henry.

Actually, one-foot browns are a common occurrence in the Whitlock household.