Durant: [Giggling] Get that weak shit outta here!

Minnesota Timberwolves fans witness something very similar most games.

Devils: [taken over by hockey league]

Pictured: The first four victims in happier times.

Be kind of cool to buy it and move to Baltimore for new beginnings

Come on, really? How ignorant do you have to be to write something like that?

Eyewitness report the suspect was approximately 6'3" 222lbs and approximately 25 years old. Reports are he had longer brown hair fair skin and was seen wearing a green football jersey. Anyone with information on the whereabouts is asked to call silent observer.

Why's it gotta be black tape?

so that's where Riley was

[Still smirking]

Wow, this is by far the single most depressing thing I've read all day. I feel like hugging a terminally-ill panda whose Make-A-Wish desire was to be hugged by a human. Just devastating.

Leo Bloom: Let's assume, for a moment, that you are a dishonest man.

There's a reason why "Taking the Browns to the Superbowl" is such an ironically funny euphemism for taking a shit. Because it compares them to shit AND they'll never go to the SOOOPAH BAWLSSSS

I'd say that last tweet was pure gold, but I'd hate to remind her of such a sore subject.

I can't believe Beasley got pulled over for a traffic violation in Scottsdale.

That was awfully nice of Rocker, although no one's ever doubted he knows his way around AA or AAA.

25 years old, from Des Moines, dubbed "Fountain Mom"

So Riley Cooper could have avoided this whole incident if he hadn't been so niggardly about paying people off.

Oh thanks. Now I'll be saying "french fried potaters" nonstop until my wife finally snaps and calls me an idiot.

Why do I get the feeling he took the attitude "I"m Riley Fucking Cooper and all white boys think the way I do. Who gives a shit if the video gets out.."? The video shows that he's just another redneck racist, the fact he didn't care about the video shows he's a completely disconnected redneck racist.