[Still smirking]

Wow, this is by far the single most depressing thing I've read all day. I feel like hugging a terminally-ill panda whose Make-A-Wish desire was to be hugged by a human. Just devastating.

Leo Bloom: Let's assume, for a moment, that you are a dishonest man.

There's a reason why "Taking the Browns to the Superbowl" is such an ironically funny euphemism for taking a shit. Because it compares them to shit AND they'll never go to the SOOOPAH BAWLSSSS

I'd say that last tweet was pure gold, but I'd hate to remind her of such a sore subject.

I can't believe Beasley got pulled over for a traffic violation in Scottsdale.

That was awfully nice of Rocker, although no one's ever doubted he knows his way around AA or AAA.

25 years old, from Des Moines, dubbed "Fountain Mom"

So Riley Cooper could have avoided this whole incident if he hadn't been so niggardly about paying people off.

Oh thanks. Now I'll be saying "french fried potaters" nonstop until my wife finally snaps and calls me an idiot.

Why do I get the feeling he took the attitude "I"m Riley Fucking Cooper and all white boys think the way I do. Who gives a shit if the video gets out.."? The video shows that he's just another redneck racist, the fact he didn't care about the video shows he's a completely disconnected redneck racist.

You would think the official water of the MLB would just come uncapped.

May I suggest balsa?

People like Mehta annoy me. Fans have limited options when it comes to spectating, one is which is booing; anyone who sits on their hands while Sanchez (or any player for that matter) plays the way he has, clearly doesn't care. I've gone to every home game since I was 7, I don't need a beat reporter telling me how…

Also google "ray allen"

The Heat are hoping Oden can serve as a mentor to their younger players. Like, Juwan Howard.

Lol I think it's hilarious that you patriots haters are so fucking down on your own teams that even when I come out and say something bad about my own team, you still try to mock me over it. Seriously. Stop being jealous.

The meaning of life?

"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? Oh, right. This is a Jets game. You are not."

Yet another example of how badly white parents are handling raising their children.