This makes my head hurt.

Not shown: Apple turnover, Tamarick Vanover.

Bob Gibson would have pitched the complete game, struck out 17 while doing it, punched his catcher for talking to the opposition hitters, and driven home in that time.

On the bright side, at least these girls were paying attention in history class.

In his defense, he might have had a few drinks.

It’s almost as if anyone on the roster before September 1st is eligable for the postseason, a rule that has been on the books for decades. So so damn shady.

Could we, I dunno, stop taking pictures in public restrooms? I am willing to take someone’s word for things in certain cases.

Then Mets fans will start bellowing about 32 years without a championship. Mets fans never shut up.

#Repealthe19th

Russell Erxleben is intrigued by you theories and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Wait, did someone force himself upon Big Ben and might face no consequences for it? That’s irony on a base level.

When he found out he couldn’t deduct all the campaign finances, well, he had to come up with other ideas.

Yeah he did, he didn’t even catch the damn ball.

Laura Bush killed someone. Actually killed someone; it didn’t stop W from getting two terms in office.

Damn Canadians, always so rude.

Yeah, it’s like misguided politicians are diverting millions in tax dollars to give corporate welfare to unproven companies with no track record. Oh wait, I think pointing out that truth that makes me a cowardous safe-space needing liberal.

*Rhode Island 75mils

I have had the worst day today and I just read all 50 of these aloud to myself and now I am giggling. Thanks.

The Browns play the Jets and the Bengals twice, either of those two teams is more than capable of blowing a simple lay-up like that.

I assume Penn State fans are the same kind of people who praise John Wilkes Booth’s acting career or remind you how beautiful the Titanic’s state rooms were.