Am I weird because this clip always makes me cry? Something about the attainment of perfection...nah, I'm just weird.

Be careful, one of those kickball dudes is gonna steal "Douche-Weasels" for the name of his banjo quartet.

Kickball is a gateway sport.

The Parker Brothers were unavailable for comment.

Jeez, he'd be their #3 starter right now.

Sound hypothetical thinking. Bluejackets 2014!

Yes, the "your idiots are bigger than our idiots" argument always sounds so good in theory and so pathetic in execution.

The logic being that no one watches the NHL on TV anyway?

Yes, the NHL is rigged, because the Rangers and Toronto win the cup every year. SMH

1000x this.

Nope. That's the line, and if you lived here, boy would you understand that.

Yes and Yes.

Go to a local diner and fuck 'em both.

/Jersey'd

This article started out great, then it degenerated into soccer talk and I juszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

What do you have to hide? Maybe your other arm? hmmm?

That's an excellent use of prosecutor resources.

Because ESPN prefers the taste of Michael Jordan's dick in their mouths to Russell's.

Old Spice doesn't last into overtime, obviously.

I don't believe in running backs who use HGH to recover from knee injuries. So there.

Hey! It's just my opinion after all...

Lake. Big Lake.