So you’re offended?

Don’t tell the lazy fuckwit who churned this “content” out this. Christ, what, do you expect Matt to take a break from doobies and masturbation to do some actual research?!  

Luckily for Hanks, Hooch never published an autobiography.

That reminds me, I gotta get the keys back from that bald fuck-up.

I’m still getting over you giving Australia to Lex Luthor.  

They definitely push a perpetual victimhood narrative here.

No that was for Mario.

Damn , and you never had a chance to ask her opinion on whatever the fuck the name is of that Olivia Wilde movie you seem to desperately want to promote.

As is tradition, she will be fed to her corgis.

Her Majesty was a pretty nice girl.

I’m hoping for “Ralph”.

Thora Birch? Or is that too on the nose for Pinocchio?

Wow, Disney really doesn’t want spoilers for the sex scene. 

donkey dicks in this version :(

I don’t know—this makes me kind of want to see it now so I can decide for myself whether or not I should be offended.

In other G20 countries, auto theft is encouraged and rewarded with a celebrity photo. If you disagree you are a fascist.

but America’s gotta America.

Only a bunch of american cunts would say the s-word.

This is straight up retarded.

A new character? An original movie? That’s insane! You are deeply unwell. I’m calling a mental health professional for you immediately. Please remain calm.