I just want to respond to all of the people saying “How could this twist surprise people” with a brief story.

but enough about Dark Phoenix and Kinberg, this is Captain Marvel we’re talking about!

There are probably a ton of people who go see MCU movies having read nothing about the movie at all, and having seen maybe one trailer. We nerds are still the minority.

I’ll try to explain it to you:

“Well, folks, the Anthropocene has been a blast but it’s about time we let the rats and cockroaches have a go”

Jeesh. Can you believe this shit. Back in my day a man would actually meet a woman and pay her to humiliate him. The internet just continues to destroy the concept of actual human contact. Get off the couch you lazy gimps. 

Eagerly co-signed.

No. No, you’re perfectly normal.

We are truly a failure as a culture and a species. May we all die in nuclear fire.

These Goddamn millennial amateurs. It’s been done years ago already with visual instructions but do they want to do the fucking research? Noooooo

Just hire a hooker and have her role play it. It will probably not even be in the top 25 of the weird requests she ever got.

I see this too but now I learned about all the sexual harassment stuff and I’m team no one. 

I cannot believe there have been this many stories published about what boils down to two people arguing over gummy vitamins. 

Thanos was right.

It’s not that. It’s that employees have access to your address, your orders, every word spoken in your house, and the sound of you jerkin’ it.

The way this is being downplayed by bots and dummy’s is scary.

And that thing I bought to always listen to me is always listening to me?! This is an outrage.

shit. you’re telling me amazon has my address?

Look who thinks he’s the pope of chilitown!