But, can you give yourself a blowjob?

I went to the bar to get laid and kept on telling girls how sore my elbow was. Amazingly, it worked.

Girls lie and always say it's the longest they've ever seen.

Alex Trebek: don't phrase me, bro

tldr. BM is much more of a man than RR. Public veil is for suckers like you. Watch it implode when RR has another shitty year.

flaming**

jiggas are unsure of what a Camaro is. IROC Z28 would literally make dude's head explode.

He was concerned that they weren't boiled long enough and that his hot sauce was tomato based instead of vinegar based.

I like the way you think. Where can I get a job that pays that much and helps me treat my PTSD?

Kato Kaelin.

Not like Raymell Rice had Kato Kaelin running interference.

No, he did what DEPUNKMORELAND most likely thinks that Brandon Marshall did, simply because he read it on the internet.

I spell checked and that's what came back. Blame the system.

Yes, he is your dad too.

La Canfora is the lovechild of Mrs. Howell and Ted Cruz.

"The nigger in the woodpile is that the bitches are of two different sizes. Run over the smaller one baby."

Punch that bitch right in the mouth

fine, half pint nugga... I gots the ham Hocks, I gots the hog Moss, I gots the chitins, I got all ya needs nucka...